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Armed with Tom Joyner's million-dollar bombshell, Julian evicts wife, Theresa, this week on Passions after he informs
her they're not really married.
"She's gotten a little to big for her pantaloons," quips Ben Masters (Julian), who explains in chatacter, "Evidently there
really was a justice of the peace, but we were too drunk to say 'I do,' and we never signed any marriage liscence. My friend
Bruce set the whole wedding up as one very long practical joke. It's definitetly cost me a lot of pain and heartache - not
to mention a lot of money!"
Armed with a temporary custody order for little Ethan, Julian sends Theresa packing. "But Theresa does not go easily into
that good night," previews Masters. ''She's like when you mix the grain and the grape - a one-bottle of asprin hangover.
When Theresa calls in the Lopez-Fitzgerald calvary, a three-on-two match occurs: Antonio, Luis and Miguel vs. Julian and
Bruce. "It's always a stacked deck. You have these three sex-on-a-sticks standing there, shoving me - a respectable older
man - around in mu own house!" cracks Masters. "They're like, 'Don't you touch my sister!' And of course they man-handle me
and brutalize me. Even Miguel threatens me. 'I;ll hurt you baaaad Mr. Crane!' It gets so bad even Crane security is called
in. But they're such pansies. I call them girly-man guards, because they won't even chop open the door with an ax to get to
Theresa" - who has barricaded herself in her bedroom.
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